Lost in translation?

My friend Aseem turns up with this beautiful piece of bengali poetry:

Shabdo jakhon ortho khoje
Hajar kothar bhirer maajhe
Oshanto mon mukti chaay
Ek nimeshe haariye jete, chhelebelake fire pete
Baadhonchhera ghurir moto batash-ghungur laagiye paaye

I dont know who wrote it but having being assigned the task of translating it for my friend, I ended up with this:

when the sounds look for meaning amongst the heaping pile of words, the restless mind just craves for freedom to be lost to reclaim childhood once again like an untethered kite, flying with only the breeze as its ankle-bells

I hope it has managed to capture the mood and meaning of the poetry. Got a nice sense of satisfaction after writing it :)
I urge my bengali brethren to give their views.